[Disclaimer: despite the fact that this was posted on April 1st, the subject matter of the post is not fictional]

April 1st has tended to be a momentous day year after year.  1948 saw the beginnings of the Berlin Airlift, and the Department of Transportation began its operation in 1967.  Today we celebrate not only the ninth anniversary of the Netherlands becoming the first country to legalize same sex marriage, but also the eighth anniversary of the Netherlands becoming the first country to legalize euthanasia, thus lowering the Dutch divorce rate significantly. But, as we all know, none of these accomplishments amount to a hill of garbanzos compared to one truly incredible development of four years ago: April 1st, 2006 will live forever in our memories as the day that the Serious Organized Crime Agency was created in the United Kingdom.

The Serious Organized Crime Agency (abbreviated as HAHA) was created as part of the 2005 Serious Organized Crime and Police Act.  After discarding such possible names as The We-Really-Mean-It-Cross-My-Heart-And-Hope-To-Die Organized Crime Agency, the Serious Organized Crime Agency began embarking on its mission to “increase the risk to serious organized criminals.”  Falling prey to the ambiguity of this mission, the Serious Organized Crime Agency made quite a splash on the international crime scene by stealing criminals’ Blackberries and resetting the passwords to their calendars.  Currently, the Serious Organized Crime Agency is in the midst of “Operation Return.” This initiative looks to catch serious criminals hiding in one of the most serious countries in the world: yes, you guessed it, the homophilic, euthanthusiastic, Netherlands.

So let’s take a moment today to appreciate the magic of April 1st, and to thank God for allowing us to celebrate the fourth anniversary of the Serious Organized Crime Agency—and for providing us with a venue to say Serious Organized Crime Agency.  And for those readers in the seriously lovely lowlands of the Netherlands, should you see serious 67 year old Brian Bradshaw of Surrey—identifiable by the tattoo “Ernie” on his right forearm and a “flower” on his left forearm—please contact the Serious Organized Crime Agency.  Seriously.

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